无言无语

为何这片星空静静地看着我流泪？

没有拥抱没有安慰。

心痛的感觉只有自己能体会，

没有经历过的人怎能感同身受呢？

我

愿望会成真吗？梦想会实现吗？努力了就会有相等的回报吗？
曾经怀疑上帝是否存在，曾经不相信上帝会听到我的祈祷。
现在有好多的事情我都选择了去相信，去跟随。
我相信我所失去的都会归来，我相信我得不到的将会有另一种方式去得到。我相信该放手的时候我会很洒脱的把手松开。
如果痛了只要哭上一晚，太阳升起的时候我依然会带着笑容面对新的一天。我就是我，以我的方式去过我的生活。我相信我所相信的，我爱我所爱的，我做我自己。

明白

忙完了该忙的事，终于有时间给自己了。
努力地想了想，我也不知道这段期间到底忙了什么，
最后累垮了，病倒了，身体出状况了
才发现这些日子我都忽略了自己。
突然间觉得其实一个人也没什么不好，
简单又踏实，过自己想过的日子。
至少一个人可以有简单的快乐，
可以很轻松，可以有几个知心的朋友。
不必为谁心痛掉眼泪。
渐渐明白很多的“好”都只是表面的，
只要得到了他想要的就会离开，
时间就是最好的证明。
朋友们都担心我又傻又糊涂，
很容易被骗，我想也许是吧！
不管怎么样，过去的就过去吧！未来也想不了那么多。
现在我只想不被打扰，轻轻松松，
继续做那个简单的我，过我简单的日子，
这样就可以很满足了。

甜

喜欢甜甜的感觉

可是这滋味已经离我好远

很久都没有这种感觉了

总是来得快去得也快

*读书读累了所以上来写写废话

Yesterday

I just can't believe you're gone
Still waiting for morning to come
Wanna see if the sun will rise even without you by my side
When we have so much in store tell me what is it I'm reaching for
When we're through building memories I'll hold yesterday in my heart
In my heart

They can take tomorrow and the plans we made
They can take the music that we never played
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away
But they can never have yesterday
They can take the future that we'll never know
They can take the places that we said we would go
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away
But they can never have yesterday

You always used to say I should be thankful for every day
Heaven knows what the future holds or at least how the story goes
(But I never believed them till now)
I know I'll see you again I'm sure no it's not selfish to ask for more
One more night one more day
One more smile on your face but they can't take yesterday

I thought our days would last forever
(But it wasn't our destiny)
'Cause in my mind we had so much time
But I was so wrong
Now I can believe that I can still find the strength in the moments we made
I'm looking back on yesterday

All the broken dreams take everything
But they can never have yesterday

累

天色渐渐暗下来，
晚餐时间到了，
但什么也吃不下。
睡了一整天还是很累，
头也还很痛。
该做的事没做好，
该读的书也没读，
眼前的问题多又多，
可不可以给我一点喘息的时间？
我只想一个人，不被打扰，
就算是一分钟都好。
心里其实是害怕的，
但却不能表露出来，
决不能把痛挂在嘴边。
不希望再有坏事发生，
可是我什么都控制不了。
亲爱的上帝，
我需要勇气去面对，
真的非常非常需要。
不管即将面对的是什么，
我都希望你能陪着我。

得到那么多的信任与关心是好还是坏？

想想，我，值得吗？

我，真的有那么好吗？

如果有一天你发现一切的好都只是自己的想象，

那么所有的信任与关心是否会收回去？

我害怕得到了又失去。

I am having a terrible time....


Something is bothering me recently. The pain is hunting me in and out. I don't know how to release myself. I cannot concentrate on my work, I hardly to fall asleep and no appetite to eat. No one know the secret in my heart so just let it be a secret forever. Thank you Chun Ming, Mun Hoe, Chiew Ser and Jeckkee. I know that you all are very care about me and I appreciate it very much but I just cannot tell what happened.  Just leave me to be independent and face it myself. I made mistake and I gonna to pay for my mistake. 


My foot is injured and the whole body is very pain because of the stupid aikido demo training!!! I am not a qualified 2nd Kyu Senior!! A very simple technique I also cannot do it well, don't have flow, don't have the feel. I think even a junior also can do better than me.  All the efforts gone! How to go for 1st Kyu? Sensei neglects us, now even black belt senior also want to leave us, we pay training fee and train ourselves ?! The high com team left two people doing work. This club is so dead! DEAD!! Nothing can help anymore.


There are something that I tried so hard in my life but the result is still shows "FAIL".  How many time I need to fail? I hate to fail!!!  The whole world is against me, I would like to scream!! Feeling so down these few weeks, no mood for everything. I cried alone in the night and I wipe off the tears myself, no one beside me. I am always alone and just let me be alone forever. I am no longer a good friend, good daughter, and good student anymore. I don't know who am I!! May be I will go insane one day. Who can tell me what kind of life is this? 


I am fragile now. 

我是什么？

我，
做错了什么、说错了什么吗？
为什么会变成这样？
想了几个晚上，情绪从愤怒变成伤心然后到失望。
我不知道你是否感受得到我是真的用心，
绝对没有半点虚假。
我也不知道身边的朋友是怎么看我，
我交朋友是交心，不是表面的。
或许在别人眼里很假，
但是如果你什么都不懂，
那么你没有资格怀疑我的真心。
一直以来我没有要求什么，
也没有要从别人身上得到些什么，
能够帮到的我都尽量去做，
而且是真的很愿意去帮的，没有怨言。
所有的请求与要求我大多数都没有拒绝，对吧？
不管多忙多累我还是会花时间当个聆听者。
为什么我要这么做？
难道是我时间太多？
是我白痴？是我无聊？
还是我上辈子所欠的？？
算了。没什么好说的了。
就当做是我厚脸皮，是我没脑袋，是我白痴好了！！

爱情其实就像打计程车。第一，不像公共汽车，只需等待就会自动来到你的面前，而需要你先向它招手才停；第二，如果你碰到的是空车，那是你的幸运，但往往车上已经有人了；第三，走了多少距离就要付出多少代价. ---几米